I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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