Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
