maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
