What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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