1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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