Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
