i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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