You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
