We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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