The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
