note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
