If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
