He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
