Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
pray to the hookup gods
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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