Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
