Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
