He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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