Non-Jews are for practice
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
