How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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