I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize