i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
