fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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