dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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