alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
