a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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