So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
