so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
