Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
