Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
