She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
