She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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