I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
