I'm gonna have a badass scar
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
