you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
