Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
