Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
