when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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