He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
