What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
