@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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