This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
