While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
