turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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