New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
