You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
