AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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