im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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