And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
