you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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