dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
