omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
