Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
