The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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