I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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